“V” is for Veat

World Vegan Day is a holiday celebrated by Vegans to commemorate the anniversary of the founding of the Vegan Society in 1944.  It’s held every year in Melbourne, Australia, probably because the Australians are so laid back and no other country would allow that many hippies in one place at the same time.
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There are many different kinds of veggies.  Not all vegetarians are vegans, but all vegans are vegetarians.  This community of V-8 swilling, Volkswagen driving Bohemians includes:

Lacto-ovo-vegetarians – don’t eat meat, but do eat dairy products and eggs.

Lacto-vegetarians – eat dairy products, but not eggs.

Ovo-vegetarians – eat eggs, but not dairy.

Pesco-vegetarians – eat seafood, but not meat…similar to us Catholics on Fridays during Lent.

Vegans – don’t eat or use anything even remotely related to an animal or animal by-product.

Fruitarians – strict form of veganism where the hippie only eats fruits, plants and trees…granola is extra crunchy with oak tree bark included.

Raw veganism – radical form of veganism which excludes all food of animal origin and all food cooked above 115 degrees…E. Coli gives uncooked food that extra zing.

Freeganism – dumpster diving, communal living, spade wielding, smelly, Cum Baya singing Anarchists.

But what do all of these multifarious groups of non-carnivores have in common?…weird food.

Tofu is the chameleon of the food world and can mask itself as anything including meat.  Tofurkey (tofu turkey) is actually a loaf of vegetarian protein made from Veat (vegetarian meat) such as tofu or seitan.  Anything named Seitan just sounds evil and unappetizing.

Milk is not off limits to vegans or ovo-vegetarians.  Just pour yourself a big glass of almond milk, sesame seed milk, barley milk, pea milk, or every vegetarian hippie’s favorite…hemp milk.  Goes nicely paired with magic mushrooms which cause you to see UFOs and want to hang out with Shirley MacClaine.  Just make sure you don’t exceed the daily recommended allowance as specified by the Vegan Food Pyramid.

The Vegan Food Pyramid, while similar to the USDA, includes such items as Yuba which is tofu skin, hemp milk, tofutti which is tofu cheese and ice cream, nori an edible red algae and favorite of University of Alabama vegetarian alum, and finally vegan wine…yes, there is such a thing.

So today, instead of a big juicy steak, baked potato with sour cream and bacon bits and steamed…that’s somewhere above 212 degrees…broccoli with cheddar cheese, grab yourself a loaf of tofu.  You can pretty much make your entire meal out of it.

Marc “Wiggy” Kovacs

Tireless Tormentor of Tofu

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