While “Prayers to the Ectoplasmistic Flying Tree Lizard of Stonehenge” spewed praise upon this magical and mysterious airborne reptile, we’ll now utilize his magick powers and sun-dried secretions to better our lives.
Visualize a barefooted vegetarian hippie in a long flowing dress probably with un-groomed blond hair and “Bill Clinton” blue eyes.
“Magickal Powders are hand-blended select herbs, spices and resins. While each blend contains native energies unique to its stated purpose, it’s for the user to fully empower these organic elements—through visualization and concentration—to achieve desired magickal goals. Simply scatter them when and where you need them. Sprinkle the powder in a circle around you, beginning and ending in the East and moving clockwise. Sit within this circle and absorb the powder’s energies. If you work with crystals and stones, add powders to your rituals by sprinkling the chosen powder around the crystal as it lies on your chosen place. Sprinkle powders around candles before lighting them to enhance their energies. Scatter a ritually appropriate powder over your altar or place of meditation. Sprinkle in specific shapes to use as focal points for visualization: protection powder in pentagrams; love powder in hearts; psychic powders in circles. The shape needn’t remain intact—it’s the process and focus which channel your positive goals and empower you and your chosen elements, in this case, Magickal Powders.”
Need some magickal powders to help enhance your day? Let’s see what’s available from an online apothecary shoppe shall we…
Astral Travel Powder – Sandalwood, Mugwort and Cinnamon: Sprinkle on the bed sheets and pillow before sleeping to encourage consciously directed astral travel. Powder can also be used to help reduce traffic when attending a major league baseball game in Houston.
Exorcism Powder – Basil, Frankincense, Rosemary, Yarrow and Rue: Sprinkle throughout the house or in any place needing a strong purification and protection. Also useful for cleanup and deodorizing of green projectile vomit from bed sheets, ceilings and carpet.
Happiness Powder – Lavender, Catnip and Marjoram: When you wish to lift your spirits, sprinkle this powder in a circle on the floor or ground and sit within it, drinking in the powder’s energies. Visualize them surrounding you and infusing you with joy. Powder is organically grown in the lush flower gardens of Afghanistan.
Health Powder – Eucalyptus, Myrrh, Thyme and Allspice: Sprinkle in the sickbed or in the recovery room to speed the body’s healing process. Or scatter on your altar or place of private meditation and burn blue candles. Powder can also be used as a tofu rub at your next vegan BBQ.
Love Powder – Yarrow, Lavender, Rose petals, Ginger: For use in attracting love. Be sure to sprinkle the bed sheets or bedroom. Powder works best when pictures of you and your mom at the Renaissance Faire in costume are placed into dresser drawers prior to your online blind date arriving.
Luck Powder – Deer’s Tongue, Allspice, Nutmeg and Calamus: Use to bring positive changes into your life. If you want to send some luck to your favorite NASCAR driver, deer’s tongue, also known as the redneck rabbit’s foot, will always do the trick.
Money Powder – Cedar, Patchouli, Galangal and Ginger: To attract money, sprinkle in your place of business, in your wallet or purse. Rub onto money before spending. Or, sprinkle in a dollar sign on your altar or place of meditation and burn green candles over the powder symbol. This powder works best at casinos or while buying lottery tickets.
Prosperity Powder – Sassafras, Cinnamon and Balsam: To attract wealth in all its forms. These forms include divorced buffalo ranchers from Montana and UFO sighting vegetarian Democratic Congressional Representatives from Ohio.
Protection Powder, recipe #1 – Dragon’s Blood, Sandalwood and Salt: Mix and sprinkle outside around your property to dispel and stave off negativity. Sprinkling any kind of blood around your property is pretty much going to stave off anyone, including those full of negativity, except for maybe the occasional curious law enforcement officer.
Protection Powder, recipe #2 – Mugwort, Frankincense, Dill, Juniper and Cumin: Sprinkle where you need protection, inside or out. For personal protection, sprinkle in a circle and stand within it until you’re charged with the herbs’ energies. Do this daily to lend protective energies to your self at all times. Powder also comes with a can of pepper spray and a 9 mm.
Psychic Powder – Yarrow, Rose petals, Lemongrass and Mugwort: Sprinkle before exercising your innate psychic awareness. Do not use while consuming alcohol or prior to plotting your last 3,000 lifetimes.
Spirituality Powder – Frankincense, Myrrh, Wood Aloe and Sandalwood: Sprinkle in chosen location prior to meditation or religious rituals to turn your awareness to higher things. Also, sprinkle in circles around blue candles for this purpose. Comes wrapped in gold foil and also serves as a great baby shower gift. Best when used during star-gazing.
Wishing Powder – Sage, Sandalwood and Tonka: In a lonely or private place, hold the powder in your right hand. Feel its energies and visualize your wish with perfect clarity. Summon the power within you and send it into the powder. When it is alive with energy, fling it as far from you as you can. As the powder touches the Earth, it releases its energy and guides your wish into manifestation. Works best if used prior to going shopping with your spouse’s credit card.
Order now and we’ll throw in not one, but two vials of Chameleon Color Extract…Great for hiding those pesky stains, as a seafood seasoning, or when used in conjunction with Wishing Powder, as a curse against annoying in-laws…A $99 value, now your’s for only three easy payments of $39.99, plus shipping and handling. Rush delivery available, so order NOW!
Marc “Wiggy” Kovacs
Apothecarily Anecdotal Author