I Hate Slimy Vegetables

I hate slimy vegetables especially asparagus.

Stupid people annoy me.

I get along with everyone…I didn’t say everyone doesn’t annoy me.

I hate slimy fruit too.  I really hate bananas.

I love hot spicy food.  It’s not hot enough unless I’m sweating and tearing up. 

Unfortunately I wear contacts.  Don’t ever cut up hot peppers, forget to scrub your hands and then take your contacts out.  It only usually happens if I’m drinking…and then again in the morning when I put them back in.  Ok, I usually learn from my mistakes.

I haven’t given up on my goal of getting to outer space.

I love corvettes.

I love women more.  Throw in cigars and single malt and I’ll marry you.  If you look like Catherine Zeta-Jones…here’s the keys to my car.

Music is my greatest passion.  Writing is becoming a close second…see the last two above.

I can’t sing and I don’t play an instrument but can read music a bit.

I’m the type of person who will drink beer and throw snowballs at Santa Claus (and Giants fans) at a Philadelphia Eagles football game and then go home, change and go to the symphony.

I love dogs…and despise cats.

I’d do anything for a friend.  Except, help them move if I’ve already done it once.  It’s a one shot deal.  Make some other friends.

I make friends for life.

I buy my suits at Brooks Brothers and my groceries at Walmart.  I can cook like Emeril but I can’t sew like Martha.

You will rarely see me in anything but jeans or khaki shorts, a black tee and black boots or sneakers outside of work.  Picture me as a shorter younger version of Anthony Bordain.

I love animals…even the tasty ones (ok, even cats once in a while).  I hate bugs and love snakes.

It scares me that I’m writing poetry.  I think I need to see a doctor.

I’m a great listener.

I had to choose between a million dollars and never traveling again, I’d keep the travel.

I had a normal childhood and I’m the oldest of six children so I rule.

I very rarely lose my cool, but if I do be prepared to hear it loud and clearly.

Any questions?


4 Responses to “I Hate Slimy Vegetables”

  1. No questions!!

    (I love cats.)

  2. Samantha's Mom Says:

    So I guess my move from the Bethlehem 3rd story walk up with the crazy heavy This End Up furniture did it in for everyone else?! 🙂 Love the blog, wigman.

  3. That’s it, we’re officially engaged.


    Just kidding, I’m happily single. But if I were a maneater, you would be on the menu.


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